So I asked myself (and others like me who are married a second time) why second marriages are better. Most of the answers, I was surprised to find, were very similar. Don’t conquer that and chances are you’ll be on your second divorce in a hurry. They became more grateful that life gave them a second chance. And this gratitude extended to other facets of life too, whether work or other relationships. They realised the benefits and importance of being married again. They realised the importance of relationship after divorce. They discovered who their true friends were while going through the trauma of their first marriage ending and weeded out the ‘party only’ friends, leaving them with fewer friends, whom they can trust with their lives. Related reading: From a happy marriage to remarriage – a heartwarming journey of a woman They saw people reacting to them differently after their second marriage – as if you had an accident and couldn’t walk, and now are miraculously healed. It taught them to care less about what the superficial world thought. They even saw a family who once stood by them now a little miffed because they were no longer the most important ‘unit’ in the divorced person’s life. On a side note – they had marriages, not weddings the second time around, intimate affairs with fewer people and the money saved for more important things. Of course, all is not rosy – people in second marriages fight too and occasionally these marriages end as well – but more often than not, they work. Now here’s the slightly scary part. They work because one goes into it with their eyes open. There’s love. Lust too. But it isn’t all-consuming. You spend time together. Live together if possible. Discover habits. Assess qualities. Discuss with near and dear ones. And then say yes. There is a bit of an arranged marriage in every second marriage. Thankfully – mostly without any or minimal involvement from parents. Because when parents have their way, most Indians continue to suffer all their lives in a bad first marriage instead of exiting into a scary, but exciting world.
