We live in an age of app-operated relationships where finding the man or woman of your dreams is as easy as swiping right or left. However, despite the instant hook-up and break-up realities of our times, certain old-fashioned notions still hold true. Today’s lovebirds know all the tricks of attracting the person of their dreams, but often fail to realize the one quality that is needed to sustain love – the need to be patient in a relationship. Tinder and other dating sites may have made it easy to meet people. But there is no technology that helps you imbibe love and patience in a relationship. The virtues of patience have to be learnt the hard way, with a lot of mindfulness and awareness. Each time you start dating someone, there is a hidden hope that they will be THE one. But making a relationship work takes effort and certain personalities, among which patience ranks high up. Being patient in a relationship could even make or break your love.
How Important Is Patience In A Relationship?
Miranda and Janice had been a couple for a few years, when Miranda found herself becoming increasingly impatient with Janice. Janice had always been rather delicate, she couldn’t do much without complaining about how tired she felt. In the initial months of their relationship, Miranda lovingly put up with, but she soon lost patience and started getting snappy and irritable at Janice. Most people confuse patience with being too adjusting or compromising. And instead of asking ‘How can I improve my patience in a relationship?’, the question becomes ‘Why should I’? And, honestly, this is a legitimate question for a new-age man or woman to ask. Unlike our grandparents’ generation, we don’t really see the point of waiting endlessly for someone we have a crush on. Is the guy you are madly attracted to isn’t interested in you? No worries! Just keep swiping and move on to the next one. But the reason you have to be patient in a relationship is not for you or them alone. It’s for your love life as a whole. First and foremost, accept that you have flaws and so does your partner. Often, in the initial heady days of love, you tend to overlook the problems, preferring to enjoy the highs of the proverbial ‘whirlwind romance’. It’s when you reach ground level that you begin to see your partner for what they are – a regular human beings with good and bad qualities. You may like some, you may be annoyed by others. So, should you just forget everything you shared and walk out? Well, the choice is yours but being patient with someone you love means you accept their weaknesses and introspect on yours. It is worth it because hoping for perfection is a futile idea. The good comes with the bad so for a healthy relationship, you need to recognize each other’s strengths and weaknesses and then work on them together – complementing and not competing!
Types Of Relationship And How To Be Patient In Each
You need to learn to be patient at the beginning of a relationship if you desire to take it to the next level. And then, you need to continue being patient with someone you love if you want your marriage or relationship to succeed. Read on to find out why and how:
1. How to be patient in a new relationship
Say you meet someone, and they check all the boxes. What happens next? There are two possibilities – you may either like what you see of them or the initial attraction may wane as soon as you settle in. Now, here’s where you have to be patient at the beginning of a relationship in case you want to give it a chance. Give it some time. You may not be ready for commitment yet. Take a few months to really know each other. One suggestion would be to not meet way too often but stagger your dates. The longing will increase, and it will give you breathing space. Most importantly, do not neglect your other friends and commitments. Strike a balance early on. Remember that you are building a foundation for a long-term relationship so give it breathing space so that it can grow organically. If it is meant to be, it will go ahead smoothly.
2. How to be patient in a committed relationship
You start dating and after the initial heady days, you are officially a couple. This is time you get to know him or her more intimately as you live together or spend a considerable amount of time in each other’s company. This is the phase when losing patience in a relationship and acting impulsively becomes a norm, so watch out. You need to make conscious efforts to stay together. Make plans for holidays and special occasions. Do not forget to give and receive gifts. Make time to do small things for each other. Every day may not be like your first date, but you can certainly to your bit to make it special. The temptations are aplenty, but you need to stay devoted to the cause of love. Use this phase to discover new aspects about your lover, some of which you may not like. But being impatient in a relationship does not do either of you any good.
3. How to be patient in a long-distance relationship
This is a huge challenge. Often couples separate due to work or personal reasons. Being in a healthy relationship requires a lot of effort and it’s extremely easy to lose focus when other stresses or external stimuli come about. The one way out: Discipline. The way to be patient in a long-distance relationship is to communicate constantly and be in touch regularly. Joshua was working in New York, while Naomi had a project in Paris. Eager to keep their relationship going, they fixed a weekly zoom date and would even send flirty messages during the day. Long distance is hard and it’s important to keep the spark alive. And believe it or not, sparks need patience to sustain, too. Trust is the key to be patient in a relationship that is long-distance. Do not ask or probe your partner’s every action. Give their problems a patient hearing and expect the same from them. Especially since you may not be able to see each other too often, situations may require a patient explanation. Give that time to each other.
11 Ways To Develop Patience
What does it mean to be patient in a relationship? Whatever be the stage of your marriage or relationship, you need to nurture it at all times. Agreed, it might not be always easy, especially if your partner doesn’t have the maturity. But if you are left to constantly wonder – how do I improve my patience in my relationship –here are some tricks and tools. The bottom line is do not give up.
1. Accept flaws, yours and your partner’s
Hello, it’s your daily reminder that nobody’s perfect. The key to be patient with a woman or man you love is to give up hope of perfection as we said above. If need be, make a list of all the flaws you spot in a partner. Then figure out where you can practice forgiveness and what is absolutely unacceptable. Judge the latter on the basis of that list.
2. Communicate with your partner
It is easy to forget in the first stages of your relationship but remember to be yourself right from day one. Just the way you accept your partner’s issues, you need to ensure that they are aware of yours too. The personality flaws should not come as a surprise to either of you. Hence, you need to take time to build the foundation of your relationship. For Lucy and Tom, it came in the form of a weekly catch-up session, where they would air out any issues they had either individually, or with each other. Instead of letting it pile up, they took an hour or two out to sit down and practice good communication.
3. See a situation from their perspective
Are you asking yourself, ‘How can I be patient with my man, or woman?’ Develop the quality to be able to see a situation from your partner’s point of view. When he or she behaves irrationally, it is easy to lose patience in a relationship and be tempted to walk out. Remind yourself that your partner and you come from different backgrounds. Put yourself in their shoes and try and understand them.
4. Lower your expectations
Most relationships break up because of the differing expectations. You may expect that your partner remembers every birthday, anniversary and shower you with gifts and kisses on every occasion as they used to while dating. When they fail to do that, you get upset. However, instead of having those high expectations every single time, cut them some slack. You will feel it easier to be patient in a relationship then.
5. Learn to deal with impatience
If you’re wondering, ‘what does it mean to be patient in a relationship?’, we’ve got news for you. Just as you develop patience within you, you may also need to learn to deal with impatience on your partner’s part. Is he or she losing his temper over something? You might be itching to give it back. But try and control your emotions. Stay away from drama and give your partner breathing space. Tackle the issue after you both are calm.
6. Reflect and write
It might sound trite but journaling or writing down your fears, hopes and expectations can really help develop patience in relationships, especially those that are very intimate. Write down the situations or qualities that caused you or your spouse to be impatient in the relationship. Note down your feelings and emotions. Then, think of your and their reactions and judge whether impatience made it bad or improved it. You will gain better perspective.
7. Learn the art of waiting
So, your partner promised a hiking trip to Colorado and you are eagerly awaiting it to happen, but they seem to have completely forgotten it. Unfulfilled promises can be a relationship deal breaker but constantly nagging your partner over every promise or thing they may have said, can never help. Learn to wait. One way to be patient in a relationship is to take your mind off the promise completely. When it materializes, the joy will be doubled.
8. Develop the art of listening
One of the main reasons why people start losing patience in a relationship is because they forget the art of listening. Agreed, especially if you are having problems or arguments, it is difficult to listen to the other side. A simple trick – breathe. Let your partner finish his diatribe. And only then respond. Listening is important if you want your beau to listen to you. This is a simple solution if you’re constantly wondering ‘how can I be patient with my man.’
9. Respond, not react
Being patient in a relationship is existing in the space between what you feel and how you react. Let’s say you and your partner get into a heated argument. Your immediate reaction would be go hit back with gestures and angry words, which is perfectly understandable. But a mature way to deal with it would be to think before you speak, as a poor choice of words will only aggravate the situation. While a thought-out gentle remark or question can lead to conflict resolution, a taunt would only escalate it. We understand it’s only human to want to react angrily sometimes. And sometimes, it might even be warranted. But think of all the time and energy you’ll save if you bite back those acidic words and take a deep breath before speaking.
10. Dedicate time together
You may try your best to be patient in a relationship, but it won’t work if you don’t make conscious efforts to keep the love alive. In this busy world, time is of utmost importance and that is why you must make time out to do the things you love together. Don’t always want to have your way. Divide your dates between what your and your partner’s likes. It’s a small gesture but can go a long way in cementing your bond.
11. Learn to compromise
This is a key to developing patience. This does not mean you have to give in all the time but figure out what are the things you can forgive and move on. Try and reach a middle ground in all conflicts. Practicing patience will help you ease the pain. Talk, communicate and let your partner know on what levels are you willing to adjust. It may be difficult trait to be patient in a relationship given the stresses of the jet-set age we live in but trying consistently can make all the difference. When there are problems, it is easy to give up on your relationships. To build something that is lasting and based on true love, requires an enormous amount of effort. Let your life be built on patience and understanding and then no challenge will seem insurmountable.
